i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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