the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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