It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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