Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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