is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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