This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
