The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
