Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
