also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
