Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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