so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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