At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
