If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
