any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
