You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
