I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
