i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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