NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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