i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Blood and glitter go together right?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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