I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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