if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
