office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
