why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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