we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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