can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
