So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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