my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
