He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
