mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
