i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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