distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I love how my cats smell like pot.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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