Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
