its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
