You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
