dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
