At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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