dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
