just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
