I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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