piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
