nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
