I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
