hotel room ftw
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
