I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
