Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
