Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
