what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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