wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
