if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Your mouth is God's brothel.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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