Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
